One more piece from Valentina Gebbia. This time about the Palermitan traffic.
"It is appropriate to equip yourself with a small kit for survival in a jam. Some suggestions for the composition of the physiological jam kit: chocolates containing coffee for drops in blood presure, passion flower tablets for anxiety crises, ointment for the contractures through the foot being suspended on the clutch, mobile phone fully charged and a free subscription for talking to everyone, stereo with at least six speakers to outdo hooters and loud music coming from the other cars. Besides, you also need to have developed piston reflexes to get to the hooter before anyone else when the lights change to green. If, however, it is a jam caused by a city policeman, we suggest a flask of cognac for the winter and an ice-cream for the summer, as well as reclining seats for a restoring nap.
When you are in a particular hurry, use the reserved lanes too, go the wrong way along one-way streets and, if you possess one of the hundreds of thousands of off-road vehicles that go wild in the city, go up on kerbs and pavements, if you find them free of boats/chairs/divans/dishwashers/cars and motorcycles.
If instead you have a concersation on the mobile that particularly involves you or you want to observe shop windows from the car, slow down until you almost stop, after the city is at your disposal. If there are any remonstrations from the person behind you, answer with gestures and insults, „for a horned man, a horned man and a half”.
In you come across a spectacle in which one car has run into the back of another, road works in progress or vehicles of the police or fire brigade, even if you don’t give a damn about it, adopt the pathological curiosity of the pure Palermitabn: stop to look, take the necessary time and let people have your personal opinion if you want; know that whoever is behind you, having attacked you furiosity with the hooter when he or she was behind you, as soon as they reach the place of the spectacle will do the same thing."
"It is appropriate to equip yourself with a small kit for survival in a jam. Some suggestions for the composition of the physiological jam kit: chocolates containing coffee for drops in blood presure, passion flower tablets for anxiety crises, ointment for the contractures through the foot being suspended on the clutch, mobile phone fully charged and a free subscription for talking to everyone, stereo with at least six speakers to outdo hooters and loud music coming from the other cars. Besides, you also need to have developed piston reflexes to get to the hooter before anyone else when the lights change to green. If, however, it is a jam caused by a city policeman, we suggest a flask of cognac for the winter and an ice-cream for the summer, as well as reclining seats for a restoring nap.
When you are in a particular hurry, use the reserved lanes too, go the wrong way along one-way streets and, if you possess one of the hundreds of thousands of off-road vehicles that go wild in the city, go up on kerbs and pavements, if you find them free of boats/chairs/divans/dishwashers/cars and motorcycles.
If instead you have a concersation on the mobile that particularly involves you or you want to observe shop windows from the car, slow down until you almost stop, after the city is at your disposal. If there are any remonstrations from the person behind you, answer with gestures and insults, „for a horned man, a horned man and a half”.
In you come across a spectacle in which one car has run into the back of another, road works in progress or vehicles of the police or fire brigade, even if you don’t give a damn about it, adopt the pathological curiosity of the pure Palermitabn: stop to look, take the necessary time and let people have your personal opinion if you want; know that whoever is behind you, having attacked you furiosity with the hooter when he or she was behind you, as soon as they reach the place of the spectacle will do the same thing."
This book is worth to have! To keep you laughing when you come back home, and to keep you smiling while you are still in Palermo:)
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